Monday, July 23, 2012

Papaya #1 6x6 oil on canvas.  
Static?  Can a 6x6 or any square canvas have movement?  This is a more recent observation of mine. Not that static is a bad thing, I guess, just an observation.  Creating a sense of movement on a 6x6 may prove challenging however, after spending some time looking over some of my favorite painters works I see it's not only possible but an integral part of many great compositions.  Besides, what's the point of locking myself in my studio if I dont have a challenge to consider?  
In this painting I do see movement in the edges and reflections.  Also the way the grapes come slightly forward.  I think I could have added even more movement by giving a slight turn to the papaya or even setting it farther back. But I'm happy with this result.  I think it's both somber and punchy if that's even possible.  I'm also particularly happy with the edges and brushwork.  I must have been in a rare mood when I painted it. 

 Moods are iffy for me these days.  I've tried a variety of genres of music while painting but I think what it boils down to is what seems to be always pressing in the back of my mind.  Some days I can distract myself but some days it simply lingers and there's no escaping -- I have the honor of acting as executrix of my mothers estate.  She died in March.  I was with her.  Sadly, those images are the ones I remember the most.

My responsibilities in that matter will be winding up soon and once again I will be reinventing Lori Twiggs.  Whoever that is.  I've had alot of reinventing to do in the last few years.  Anyone who has had to parent their parents can relate - you know who you are.  This should wind up that era.  Put it behind me.  Move forward.  Be productive.  I know it can be done since I've seen so many others do it.  Lose some one close to them and then go on with their lives. 

There is a secret they dont want you to know:  It's a lot harder than it looks.  How can I go on with my life when my life will never be the same? I had a job.. with a title:  Power of Attorney.  I complained a lot but the fact remains, it defined me for the last 6 years.  It was my job to see to it that my mother was cared for.  That her needs were met, physically and emotionally. I ran her errands, bought her clothes, toiletries, ensures.  I paid her visits and told her I loved her.  I gave her hugs and rubbed her delicate little arm.  I answered calls from the facility where she lived and I came in to be with her as she died.   But afterwords,  I was informed, rather coolly by the funeral home, that I was relieved of my duties at the time of death.  Little did they know I was promoted to Executrix.  Mooo haaa haaa!  Jokes on me.

But that title wont last either.  Sometime before fall I will be relieved of that duty as well. 
Who will I be after that? 

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