Ever feel inadequate?
Dictionary.com says:
adjective
A problem with regularly setting the bar higher is that it becomes difficult to impossible to ever catch up. I'm never good enough for myself. That's a problem. That leaves me with feelings of inadequacy quite often. What I do with those feelings is really what it's all about. Do I give up? No. I do not. Sometimes I drag my feet a little. Fear of failure can do that. But eventually, I 'pull myself up by my bootstraps' so to speak and get on with the show. After all, it's supposed to be fun, right?
If I had a dime for every time I felt inadequate as a painter I'd certainly be a rich woman by now. What's odd is that when I finish a painting (usually) I am quite satisfied as an artist. I feel fulfilled, happy, productive. In fact, the finish of a painting is defined by how satisfied I am. In other words. I know it's done when I can step back and say, "now that's what I'm talking about!"
But, from time to time, I get into a painting only to step back and say, "?". So I'm looking at the painting and I'm wondering what's it going to take to make this work? Then I realize that I've strayed so far off my concept that the only way to make it work is to start over. It's a WIPER.
*Wipers - paintings unworthy of a canvas and wiped off before drying.
I have a few more wipers than I'd care to admit. And I'll also admit that when that happens, I begin to feel inadequate.
On the brighter side, I believe I've wiped a few in recent months that in years past would have made it into a frame. I've set the bar higher. And that means growth. I expect more from myself now. I self critique more frequently through out the painting process. I am tough on details like edges, color temperature, tangent lines and so forth.
*Wipers - paintings unworthy of a canvas and wiped off before drying.
I have a few more wipers than I'd care to admit. And I'll also admit that when that happens, I begin to feel inadequate.
On the brighter side, I believe I've wiped a few in recent months that in years past would have made it into a frame. I've set the bar higher. And that means growth. I expect more from myself now. I self critique more frequently through out the painting process. I am tough on details like edges, color temperature, tangent lines and so forth.
A problem with regularly setting the bar higher is that it becomes difficult to impossible to ever catch up. I'm never good enough for myself. That's a problem. That leaves me with feelings of inadequacy quite often. What I do with those feelings is really what it's all about. Do I give up? No. I do not. Sometimes I drag my feet a little. Fear of failure can do that. But eventually, I 'pull myself up by my bootstraps' so to speak and get on with the show. After all, it's supposed to be fun, right?
Okay, so I have a few wipers now and then. But when I look back I see a lot of growth. That's what I'm after. I know that I am in the process of achieving my goals! Because I am improving, in my opinion. And that's what matters!
