Bid on eBay
This is from my stash. I painted this in December and was saving
it while I accumulated a body of work suitable for gallery
representation. I particularly liked the background in this one and the
sexy, lost edges on my Longaberger pitcher. I also love the
arrangement of the blueberries; the way they pile then softly spill and
gently roll away. Some to the floor. One was stepped on. Fruiticide is
not uncommon in my studio. :(
This painting, as I
said, is from December, my otherwise past life. An era gone by. A time
forgotten. This was a time when I was dodging visits to mom or else
running her errands. Buying her Ensures, taking her to dr
appointments. My husband took care of her bills while I did all the
follow up calls to the incompetent billing departments who could never
get the billing vs. payments straight. That was then. It seemed as
though it could go on forever. No end in sight. Were it not for her
Alzheimer's mom was in fairly good health and in her 70's. I could see
at least 10, maybe 20 more years of this. So I settled in. Got
comfortable in my role. Learned to love this new person and new
responsibility to me.
And I did love her. She was
fragile and getting more so week by week. She began losing weight.
Gradually but steadily. She developed a bed sore. No matter the care
she received from her caregivers at the facility, it worsened. In fact,
became so bad it seemed to become the focus of attention. Morphine was
given and dressings were changed regularly but it persisted and
I purchased a canister of protein
supplement powder, the kind athletes use, to help her body repair the
damage but it wasnt enough. Especially since she began to refuse
nourishment. I was asked to consider hospice. Hospice? For my mom? I
could hardly believe what I was hearing. Hospice always meant to me
that a person was in the last days of their life. I didnt see that as a
reality. What I saw was my mother degenerating but I accepted that it
would likely go on for an inconceivably long time.
I spoke to hospice who did, in fact, admit her but I was told
that many, many people will stabilize and "graduate" off of hospice.
Some go off and on hospice several times. So it was my new perception
that mom just needed a little extra help to get her through this bed
sore issue then she would probably, most likely, definitely "graduate
back to her current status.
Hospice became a new era for me. In this era I educated. Sadly,
we so often learn our valuable lessons far to late in life. I wish I
had be wiser sooner. Here I was, 48 years old and only now realizing,
really realizing, who my mother was. I began to see her, not through
the eyes of her child but as an individual watches another individual.
As her child, I couldnt see the forest for the trees. But during the
hospice interview, questions were asked which planted seeds in my
thoughts. Questions. I evaluated mom from a whole new perspective.
Hospice changes things. Mortality for one. And if you will go
there: retrospective. The possibility of moms death was a springboard
to the reality of her life. And how the reality of her life molded